Fortune cookie fortunes that are improved by adding the words “in bed”

The sound of your voice puts people to sleep.

You talk to yourself and don’t even realize it.

You have a tendency to drag things out but maybe that’s not always such a bad thing.

You’re the kind of person who sometimes wears a pair of old boxer shorts with holes in them and nothing else.

Hey there, Mr. Wonderful, eat all the crackers you want!

You will die.

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