Author Archives: W.P. McNeill

Pillow Talk

–I’m your alt-right girl. –I want a regular right girl. Someone I can read the National Review with. –The National Review does have the best word scope puzzle. –Yeah, it’s called Henry Kissinger. Actual dialog from a dream in which … Continue reading

Posted in Mermaids | Leave a comment

Late June, Madison, Wisconsin

You are sitting with your friend Johnny on on his front porch. Johnny pulls two beers out of the cooler next to him and fumbles in his pocket for a bottle opener. “Finally,” he says, “it’s warm enough to sit … Continue reading

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Sunset

A guy walked into a bar and proclaimed, “Lilac is gone.” What he meant, he went on to say, was that there had just been a solar flare, the quality of whose radiation was perfectly calibrated to tear apart any … Continue reading

Posted in Fabulous ones, Those that at a distance resemble flies | Leave a comment

The rats given the super-intelligence serum ran mazes in record time. The scientists were overjoyed at their breakthrough, but they didn’t know the half of it. That night the rats staged a mass escape, stole all the serum, and vanished … Continue reading

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Breaking the Rule of Three

–Gimme some melted butter with garlic in it!–You can’t just have…–Melted butter and garlic. Mmmmm! In a little cup!–I’m not going to give you a cup of melted butter and garlic.[Stares ahead. Eyes wide, jaw quivering.]–Tell me something you would … Continue reading

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Over Beers in Arkham

–So Cthulhu was actually… –A giant supernova, yes. That is what the Old Ones meant by that name. –Uh huh. –The concept got garbled here on Earth. –Well, don’t you find that a tad…disappointing? –What do you mean? –I was … Continue reading

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What People Will Say About The Recent Past Twenty Years From Now

• They had real music, not the commercial junk we have now. • Kids weren’t coddled back then the way they are today. • Smartphones were great because they encouraged reading. • It was a golden age of take out … Continue reading

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